Damn it all

Damn it all straight to hell.

You hear me, proprietor of hell?  You're going to be getting a cluster f--- of everything heading your way.  Prepare.

Okay vulgarities aside.  I was feeling good.  I did more research into the ABCTE program for teacher certification.  Looked into Idaho and found out they do accept ABCTE certificates for a state license.  I thought, "Sweet!  I can do this online certification and be ready to apply for a state license early 2012 and be ready to go for the hiring period to start in the fall of the 2012.  That way I have a summer off before starting up again, providing I get a position!"  Well when I looked into the test requirements it would appear I have to go to a testing center for them.  Makes sense in terms of testing, but this did not occur to me seeing as how the program is online.  This will not do!  I also need a federal background check which is a bunch baloney and a scam.  You send 30 odd dollars to the state for fingerprints and another 18 to the FBI for them to tell you that you do not have a record.  No shit FBI!  The fingerprints I could probably work around but my plan of getting experience here in Korea while getting certified to teach in God's country has been destroyed.

So now I have yet another year of un-fulfilling shit jobs no matter how I shake the spoon at it.  If I say screw you Korea come home now, I still need to work.  If I wait and come home in may to start, everything will be pushed back to 2013.  My best hope is for the world to be destroyed in 2012.  Why do things never work out as planned?  With that said 2012 will be a great year of global prosperity and peace.  Or all the boring crap that keeps conflict at bay.

BLEH.  Now I have nothing to look forward to.

Common Sense

I finished Common Sense last week, but haven't gotten around to summing up the read.  After reading the pamphlet I have some questions and ponderings.

Seceding from the Crown is treason.  The speaking of or planning of secession is more than likely viewed to be treasonous.  It seems to me, to be convinced of the need of secession, a pamphlet calling to do so would need to be cognitive and cite specific grievances.  Which Common Sense does not do.  The pamphlet works mostly in the state of nature.  It is unnatural for this relationship to continue and since it is against the state of nature it will continue to create friction.

Paine argues for independence over reconciliation.  His main reasoning is that cutting ties will solve the issues and not prolong them to worsen with time.  Also, calling it quits is easier.  The most information Paine gives into the issue of independence over reconciliation comes from the four things he lists as a reasons for independence.  I have paraphrased them below:

1.  No other country can mediate as long as America remains a subject of Great Britain

2.  No foreign aid to help us against Great Britain if we remain a subject of Great Britain - why would France or Spain help America which would be strengthening their enemy of Great Britain?

3.  We must appear to be rebels to foreign powers - all those in power fear rebellion wherever it may be

4.  We must send a declaration of our peace and grievances not only to Great Britain but to other courts as well to outline our troubles and efforts of reconciliation.  We must also extend a hand of friendship and trade to these courts. Basically, make friends!

What he is saying here, is that negotiations will continue to be one sided.  Talks will be a waste of time and yield no conclusion favorable for the colonies because there is no party to force the King to do so.

What the pamphlet's lack of grievances tells me is that the American people did not need to be told.  Everyone every where had felt or come into contact with the King's tyrannical policies in some way.  Independence was not the first option.  In the beginning it was probably not even on the minds.  After all, most Americans felt and believed they were still British subjects, but most Britons held the colonists on a lower tier.  I am trying to put together an argument for the Loyalists but I am having a hard time.  Maybe we will settle on calling them CANADIANS.  Some of the Loyalists fled to Canada.

I jotted down some neat quotes I think are relevant to today.

"We are already greater than the King wishes us to be, and will he not endeavor to make us less?"

"...that it would be policy of the King at this time, to repeal the acts for the sake of reinstating himself in the government of the provinces; in order that he may accomplish by craft and subtlety, in the long run, what he cannot do by force and violence in the short one..."

Paine also views the role of government is to, "Secure freedom and property to all men, and above all things the free exercise of religion, according to the dictates of conscience."

Paine sounds very American.  Which is kind of strange seeing as how he emigrated to the Colonies in 1774 when it was suggested to him by Benjamin Franklin.  Paine had a lot of failed endeavors when he was in England either due to misfortune or laziness on his part.  He started to frequent intellectual circles that got him thinking on things and somehow came into contact with great Americans like Franklin.  I find this interesting.  Here we have a man viewed to have written a great document that is considered to have great influence on the American people to seek independence from the Crown.  He sounds like an American in his philosophy but he was hardly an American by time he wrote Common Sense.

I am inclined to believe, after a brief look into his past endeavors and finding nothing of value, that Paine was proficient in reading the currents.  He had positioned himself to be introduced to the ideas of great thinkers.  He also mixed himself up with a revolution twice.  I have a hard time believing in 1774 he did not have an idea or a want to see an American revolution.  Why else did he come here, other than to escape debtors prison?  (Another story for another time perhaps)  When the French revolution loomed on the horizon he ran off to stir up anyone and everyone.

I feel I do not yet know enough of the man to pass judgement.  I can't help but feeling, "Thanks for push and solidarity your pamphlet seemingly brought to the American people, bro, but it was nice of you to run off to France so we were rid of your mischief!"

Go to your room

This has always bothered me and I'm in an off enough mood right now to comment about it ON THE INTERNET.  Har Har I showed them.

Anyway, whenever something slightly out of the ordinary happens I get sent away, relieved of my teaching duties.  Yesterday, 9 students out of around 25 were absent due to some other school activity.  It was therefore IMPOSSIBLE (capitalized because that is the word my co-teacher used) for me to have class.  So I was sent to my room.  Today, just now, the monitor in the classroom is on the fritz.  UH OH!  Off to your room, Manley.

I don't know.  I would like to sit and observe class.  I came to Korea to teach and above all, learn how to teach.    But I guess I'm more of an accessory.  Like that old ugly broach your Aunt Mable gave you that you only wear on Thanksgiving and Christmas and then only if she's around.  Hurry up and die Aunt Mable so I am free of this broach.  I don't recall having an Aunt Mable, if I do, apologies Aunt Mable.

In short, most of the time I feel removed from normal teaching duties.  I don't know if this is how they have treated previous teachers or if they passed judgement on me and feel I am not up to the task of anything more than playing sound clips.

In an attempt to escape my reality into the fantasy of history I have finished Common Sense.  I will post my final thoughts on it.  Stay tuned.  History is interesting if you give it a chance.  No guys, seriously...guys...guys?!

A very convincing argument...

...to cease all sushi consumption and to never go to Australia is presented in this article.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/07/05/tiny-worms-with-teeth-attack-sicken-couple/

The worms have tiny little teeth and can go anywhere they like in the body.  They can hang out for fifteen years wreaking havoc on the body until they either die or are finally vanquished by the immune system.

It's a shame, I've always wanted to go to Australia, contrary to my belief everything there can and will eat me.  I'll have to dose up on chemo before I go.  Come feast on my radioactive flesh!

Just thought I'd share.  Take a temporary rest from history to maybe draw back the people AWL after history crept it's way into the blog.

Where the F--- is the EPA?

Water is a necessary element for all life on Earth.  According to various "scientists" and environmental watchdog organizations and groups, Green-House-Gasses are the bane of earthlings.  Water vapor makes up the majority of Green-House-Gasses.  Right now it's 83% relative humidity which is some magic ratio between the relative and absolute humidity for any given temperature.  This dogshit weather sucks.  Where is the EPA telling the water vapor to cut it out?  They went as far as to blame cow farts and hordes of wheezing asthmatics that their puffers were damaging the environment, why not crusade against water vapor?  Most importantly, why not crusade against water vapor anywhere I happen to be?  I have been trying to this myself, but alas, I need big brother to reach down and help me.

Actually, the only one at fault is (besides the horseshit location of South Korea) my wonderful air-conditioner.  It works fine for all of 5 minutes before the condenser shuts off and stops blowing cold air.  The air blowing anytime is musky/smelly as if the internal workings are dirty and moldy.  I took off the front grate to discover this awesome non-removable foam filter thing that smelled like a urine receptacle.  Le fook.  I was thinking maybe there was a dehumdifier option, but its all in Korean.  I looked up the model number online to find that my model does not indeed exist.  Why does it seem whenever you have an issue with something, it truly does not exist anywhere else in space-time?  The evidence that the "fabric" of space time is inconsistent is all around us.  Such as having the only item in existence or where the missing sock goes in the dryer.  There must be some location where all of these things either come from or are sent to.  From my experiences traveling abroad, electric dryers outside of of North America are rare.  I envision a mass exodus of socks from the space-time of North America.  This assumes of course, that space-time changes or is different based on where you are and I am pretty sure that is incorrect.  Science, what say you?

I am currently around half way done with Common Sense.  I am very surprised by its length.  Whenever the word pamphlet comes to mind I think of something short.  Something one to two pages in length.  Common Sense is surprisingly lengthy.  It is a good read.  If nothing else the jabs at the English or French are refreshing.  It makes me wonder whatever happened to Thomas Paine.  You generally hear of Common Sense and then Mr. Paine drops off the map.  I do not believe he was at the 1788 convention to write our current constitution nor do I believe he had any hand in its predecessor, the Articles of Confederation.

Aha!  The bastard went to France.  He played around in the French Revolution and made a mess of things over there.  He continued to write, was somehow elected to the National Convention, despite not being able to speak French.  If only the Frenchman's logic was a strong as his smell.  (I look forward to your comments!)
He wrote the Rights of Man and the Age of Reason and spent some time in prison.  He basically was a trouble maker in France until Jefferson asked him to come back.  He did so then promptly died.  Or so the Wiki tells me.  Further research is required.

He was ostracized in the U.S. due to his criticisms of Christianity which I find interesting.  It is interesting that he used the Bible as a source to dispute the right of Kings, most notably the notion of the divine right of Kings when he wrote Common Sense.  He also does not seem to have any real love of the French nor Europe for that matter.  So what drove him to go to Europe?  As well as he offers and interesting view into 18th century Christianity.  Like many of his time, it appears the Bible was a historical text as much as it was one of scripture.  Paine promoted deism which may be why he mostly quotes the Old Testament.  Many of our founding fathers were men of God, but whenever they had an issue with religion they voiced it.  It seems in the thinkers and doers of the 18th century viewed God and religion almost as if they are separate entities that often crossed each other's paths.

From my brief look into Paine, I can conclude, that maybe the man was just a rebel without a cause.  If there was trouble to stir he hopped on that stirrin' spoon like a black matron in the kitchen.  Once again I look forward to your comments...

The Devil's Work

Edit 2:  Nvm, I can't read.  I'll leave the previous edit in for emphasis and this.  When you kow tow to a king, you kow tow to Sataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan...
Edit:  I forgot to mention the reason for today's blog title.  I believe I had it in here somewhere but must I have taken it out or something.  Paine argues the institution of Kings is the Devil's greatest work.  That Devil, he's a tricky one!

Common Sense by Thomas Paine is free on Amazon Kindle.  Pick it up.  It would be interesting to look into the history of how and when Mr. Paine's name became attached to the pamphlet.  It was originally published anonymously.  Mr Paine, a prudent man, gave value to the dividends his head paid when firmly attached to his body.  Arguing the legitimacy of a monarch is best done anonymously, especially when the most powerful monarch in the world in 1775 is in question...

Anyway just a heads up.  Lots of good stuff  in here.  Paine points out the creation of Kings is the devil's greatest work.  The Bible warns of big government in any form the with idea, of course, you forsake your true king, when you worship an earthly one.  Kings, they are bad news.  Paine also describes the folly of governments created around checks and balances.  At the time the only government in the world that did this was the English limited monarchy/parliamentary system.  Basically, he said it's a farce.  Lets take a look, shall we.

He says, it assumes in a system of checks and balances that any one entity cannot be trusted without the others keeping an eye on it.  This also assumes the ones keeping an eye on one entity are better suited for that purpose.  So you get in this cyclical motion of the checks always need to be better suited than what they are checking when they are checking what is also checking them.  So basically, in human history the best form of government we've been able to produce requires it to be larger than necessary to keep tyranny at bay.  At anytime when more power is granted to one section, those new powers must be checked by another entity.  Thus growing government.  Reform, reform, reform...it all means the more you fuck with it the worse it gets.

It may sound like the proposition is a doomed one.  In that as humans advance the perceived needs of people grows, thus we need more government.  This proposes an entirely different question of why does it need to be government.  Anyway, we may discuss this later, I'm on my way home now.  I'll finish Common Sense as should everyone else and we will discuss later.

blehhhhhhhhhhhh

Listening to the pitter patter of rain outside makes me want to sleep.  Actually, it makes me want to leave the office, go home, crack my bedroom window, and fall asleep until ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh February.  Yeah, waking up in February is good.  Lets do it.  I think sleeping  for eight months is possible it's just a simple matter of cardiac arrest.  Or cryogenics.  But who wants to be freezer burned?

I need to come up with something fun to do for Thursday and Friday.  At least I hope it's only for Thursday and Friday.  I'm sitting here a bit worried I'll need something prepared for my second period.  I went on reconnaissance mission to the bathroom and spied some tangos chicken scratching on what appears to be tests.  Well this sort of abates the fear for now.  But I still have no ideas.  I'm stuck sort of at a crossroads here.  I can try to get into and learn something about all of these boring things kids in Korea do these days.  Such as, sports, k-pop, and all things pop culture.  But that's a huge bin of garbage to sift through.  It's a daunting task to do that for American sports, pop music, and pop culture and I'm American.  That and I would just be regurgitating anything they already know if I somehow manage to pick the cool stuff.  Picking American versions of these things is a bit difficult too.  Most is vulgar and not appropriate for the classroom.  If i was going to pick something with explicit lyrics or something I would choose something in the realm of music I actually like.  Which means the students probably wouldn't care for it.

So I went to the old standby.  What happened yesteryear?  Lots of neat things happened of course.  If I talk about history on a rainy day like today there will be a record amount of sudden cases of narcolepsy and blunt force trauma to the brain as their heads smack into the desks.  At least in a history class I can get away with history.  In English comprehension I can um...I can um...blehhhh it's all boring.

Monday Monday

AWESOME, its Monday!

No matter how faux excited I get it doesn't change the fact I'm slightly hungover and have nothing to do all day.  With that said lets forget Monday and talk about yesterday.  I find its best to forget Mondays and either stay on Sunday or skip ahead to Tuesday.  According to science, the past is one of eight total directions.  And apparently nothing moves faster in the universe than stationary objects.  Or objects that are not trying to go faster.  I don't know what this all means, I just read an article that tried to make the concept of why faster than the speed of light is not possible, simple.  It was marginally successful.  Oh yeah, Sunday.

Yesterday, Stevie invited me out for steak at VIPS or the highest rated Korean steak house south of the 38th.  They have a kick ass salad bar/buffet thing that you can either get by itself or included in your otherwise, overpriced steak.  The steak was okay, but more Asiany in the sense it has a heavy marble to it.  Tasty, but I definitely think it would be too fatty for many Americans.  You can get everything from rice to ribs on the salad bar/buffet thing.  They had this spicy fried rice dish sort of like jumbalaya and it was delicious.  Your meal also comes with taters, mushrooms, or some vegetable.  Not too bad for 34,000krw, but still pricey.

Probably the best part of the experience at VIPS was the ice cream machine.  Apparently, the ice cream machine had just woken up and I was the first to use it.  So I pull down on the lever.  The machine shudders and comes to life.  Well I thought it was coming to life.  It continues to shudder and nothing is coming out.  Just as I begin to think this thing is constipated some green ice cream starts to slowly ooze out.  Then it stops and just hangs there.  What the hell.  SO I lay in on the lever some more and the machine shudders and groans and slowly resumes pooping my ice cream out.  So I keep working the lever and the machine continues to strain and right before the machine has an aneurysm the floodgates open and it begins pooping out ice cream at an incredible speed.  My cone is overflowing!  Just when I think all is lost the machine empties its bowels and sits silent.  A job well done, and I'm sure the machine is reflecting on the physical hardships it went through to give me my green tea flavored ice cream.  I'm glad we could work through this together, ice cream machine!  This ordeal lasted no longer than maybe 5 minutes.

After this exciting adventure in ice cream defecation we went to this multi-floored shopping center.  This was pretty cool.  You can take your shopping cart on the escalators which don't have steps but is a long incline.  The shopping carts are pretty cool once you get them on the escalator magnets in the wheels clamp the cart to the escalator so it doesn't slide around and withdraw human life.  The place was packed full of people.  They had some good prices, I should try to go back there.  I have an idea of where it's at, but its quite a walk from the bus stop.  And you get to go through a tunnel!  Exciting times!

Anyway, that was my Sunday.  Now Monday, please hurry and finish up!

June 24, 1374

History sometimes waltzes in when you least expect it.

So what is worthy of note about June 24, 1374?  I'm glad you asked.  On this day, a long ass time ago, in Aechen, Germany the first major outbreak of St. John's Dance was recorded.  If visions of a bunch grubby Germans doing the Macarena during the Dark Ages popped into your head, you are not far from the mark.  St. John's Dance is also known as the Dancing Plague and was an epidemic of feverish, uncontrollable dancing.  It was thought to be a curse by St. John the Baptiste himself.  How cool is that?  Anyone can curse someone to an untimely death but this seemingly groove master St. John cursed people to dance until they collapsed from exhaustion.  Contemporary sources often picture women partaking in St. John's Dance, because you know, if there is something a bit odd and bearing the suspicion of devilry, it's best to show women doing it.  However, further investigations show that it men were the primary dancers.  So think 14th century Men at Work or the Village People.  Actually, I'm not positive if Men at Work danced or not, I'm assuming so due to that famous song of theirs where they request that everyone look at their pants.  The Dancing Plague was popular for around 200 years and seemed to die down by about mid 16th century.  It is thought to be one of the first forms of mass hysteria or even maybe a social movement of some sort and not actually a disease.

Anyway, I had never heard of this before.  It's pretty cool.

Update Time?

Edit again - Okay I think the pics are up.
Y u no show pics?!  Okay I'll fix this later when I am not being derped.

While you wait, feel free to check this out.  A lil something I stumbled on why listening to the new Pelican album I have shamefully not purchased on Youtube.  I'm pretty sure the kool peeps that frequent this roaring blog will not love my taste in music.  Be adventurous!  After all...God is an astronaut.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34C41eEpM48

Hello again,
I have not updated due to lack of energy to do so.  Its Wednesday night.  I have no classes tomorrow, but I still have to show up and look busy.  Hooray!  Next week the students have tests!  As far as I know, I don't do anything for them.  So most of a week of looking busy. . .

Not really much to report, besides I'm pretty bored here.  I suppose I could talk about two particular things.  These are things most foreigners to Korea probably complain about and probably to some extent, our service personnel here in Korea.  First things first.  Mold.  Seriously Korea, dry the hell out!  We haven't even got to the rainy season yet!  Up here in Haseong it doesn't rain often, but and the Humidity is around 40% on average.  Things just mold.  Sad face.  I had a loaf a bread that was two days old.  Now its moldy.  BLEH.

The second thing on my mind are bugs.  These little gnat bastards go right through the screens, swarm your face and then collect on the walls and ceiling to judge you.  Eventually they all decide to take a pilgrimage to the sun and have a mass exodus to the light.  Then their righteously charred little bodies pepper my bed...  I was able to cut down their numbers by identifying the window they come in from.  And it's of course, the window I always sit by and need open for cool air.  So it gets closed around 7:30 to prevent my bed from looking like Antietam.  There are these awesomely retarded beetles here too.  They are huge, loud, and do not posses a brain.  Sometimes they fly into something and fall to the ground on their backs and then just hang out on the floor with their legs flailing about in the air.  You can fly bros!  Most of the time I pick them up and toss them out the window other times I torture them with a slipper.  I've come to enjoy the time I spend with the beetles. . .

As requested here are some photos of the house.

This is the view of the schools from my path.